I really want you to listen out for the effect of the very sentence forms one of the advantages of hearing the writing is that you can see what the point of varying the sentence forms is it’s not just a random thing to do polluted exhausts choked his lungs and he grimaced resisting the urge to cough the dark gray smoke merely added to this black and white world devoid of color now that the train was gone with its beads of red light he was plunged back into that lackluster reality black white gray another shade of grey he was living in an undeveloped photograph the film of which had been forgotten about and left to gather dust in the Attic hopefully you picked up the rhythm of a black white gray. Read great expressive sentence exapmples at Edusson.

Another shade of gray this kind of plodding rhythm that reflects perhaps his plodding sense of his own life that he’s just plodding through it you might argue that it mimics the sound of the train on Trax I don’t know but you could argue that then we have this fantastic metaphor here he was living in an undeveloped photograph I love that it’s a works brilliantly with his description of everything being black and white and gray and this idea that the photograph is undeveloped is again a metaphor for his life isn’t it again this is metonymy at work absolutely fantastic this doesn’t quite work the film of which had been forgotten about left to gather dust in the Attic I actually now I’ve changed my mind that would be the negative film wouldn’t it so it’s not actually printed as a photograph so no I take it back that works perfectly and we get a sense of that he has just been forgotten again misses a met anomic description where the object describes the man and if you’ve been on narrative and description you’ll know that the alliteration with the F this fricative is always violent because you bare your teeth when you make the F sound you know that’s why our F word exists because it’s a it’s a violent facial expression and conveys violent emotion.

And so from this we get his own disgust at how his life is panning out this disgust and anger is also emphasized with prims brilliant choice of verbs he grimaced he’s still resisting he’s plunged into reality you can see how violent this experience feels to him and then we’ve got this lovely bit of vocabulary here lackluster reality a comment on his own life which he’s finding completely unrewarding and that lackluster lacking light and gloss works brilliantly again with that metaphor of the photograph we would expect the photograph to have a glossy finish to it a luster but his doesn’t have a luster because his life is undeveloped photograph just a genius bit of description there’s more in it which I won’t take you through now you can just see how fantastic it is then we have the final paragraph.